January 14th, 2013
Welcome to the third annual Mitsy Awards! Note: I’ve changed the spelling from Mitzi to Mitsy. Other than that, the best and worst celebrity baby names are a-go like they’ve been in the past. Feel free to disagree, and please voice your opinion. This is only an opinion, after all, and is in good fun!
One of the biggest trends in celebrity baby naming for 2012 was the highly irritating tendency to DELAY ANNOUNCING the name, or worse still, not announcing it at all! We’re still on tenterhooks awaiting the monikers of Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer’s’ twins. Come on, guys! It’s not too late to win a Mitsy! Stephen you have a daughter dubbed Lilac so we know it’s good. Tell us! We don’t even know the sex of these little ones. (Maybe, they’re actually vampires. That would explain a lot.) It’s all at their own detriment too. Adele may face a fine for not registering her son’s name in time with the British government. Not that she’ll have any trouble paying it.
Adele is also at the forefront of another 2012 trend: TRADEMARKING. Adele is currently attempting to trademark her own name, which is also irritating for the simple reason that it’s far from unique to her. It is a lovely historic name, let the rest of have a chance to use it, puh-leeze. Lucky little Blue Ivy, born this year, has her name trademarked, and I’m sure “Kimye” will do the same, both with their own mashup as well as with their baby, if they haven’t done so already.
Celebrities across the board were hopping on some well-established baby name trends this past year. In so doing, my belief is that they perpetuate them. So what’s hot now?
1. BUMPKIN CHIC: Dixie Pearl, Delta Fay, Gloria Ray, Jedidiah Lindsay, Mabel Ray, Memphis, Tennessee (yes, in case you’re wondering, that’s two different kids) and Willa Lou were all born into this world. Designing Women appeared to be a big influence this year.
2. HEDGE FUND COOL: Exton, Hawkins, Kendrick, Kline, Livingston, Macallister, Miller, Spencer and Truman should be set nicely for life. Some of these are innocuous, but in general I have a hard time getting completely on board with this one.
3. ADJECTIVES AND NOUNS: Blue Ivy got a double dose as did Clover Clementyne. Olive, Gray, Pearl were all over too, and we met a little Lion and a Pepper.
Without further ado, The Mitsy Awards…
BEST GIRL NAMES:
This was a remarkably difficult category to narrow down this year! So many beautiful choices, and it didn’t help that I have a penchant for Bumpkin Chic. So, keeping in mind that I pretty much lurve all of the names under number 1 above, I bequeath the awards to:
1. Wilhelmina Jane – This name fell onto several “worst of 2012″ lists, and my mouth was agape in horror. Wilhelmina Jane, you are simply, the queen of 2012. Those Hanson boys have a knack for names, I tell ya’. (Taylor and Natalie Hanson)
2. Romy Hero – Two equally unexpected names in a jaunty energetic combo. Who cannot help but love this? (Sam Taylor-Wood and Aaron Johnson)
3. Theodora Rose – Ok, unfair advantage here. Those of you who’ve been following this blog for years now know how much I adore this name. Were I able to asexually reproduce this would be daughter number two’s name for sure. But who would want that? (Robbie Williams and Ayda Field)
4. Marlowe Ottoline Layng – Kudos for cool on this one, Marlowe’s name is full of meaning, and beauty. (Sienna Miller and Tom Sturridge)
5. Gloria Ray – What can I say? I just love Maggie Gyllenhaal so much. She nailed it with Ramona, and while I don’t think young Gloria will have an avalanche of namesakes, it seems so very right, and I’m *pissed* I didn’t think of it for them. (Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard)
Honorable Mentions: Ethel Mary (cheers for pushing the boundaries of grandma), Beatrice Jean (restrained elegance, a pleasant surprise) Cecilia Delphine (two underused lovelies in a fluid pairing).
Near Misses: Adalaide Marie Hope (sub Adelaide please), Clover Clementyne (Clover is named after grandmother Natalie Wood’s character, but there’s that awful gratuitous Y), Penelope Scotland (nice homage to grandma’s home country, or cheeky honoring of unworthy dad?), Maple Sylvie (too syrupy, though Maple could work in another combo).
WORST GIRL NAMES:
Most people named their daughter beautifully this year, and I’m beaming with pride! As if I had anything to do with it. But no, seriously, I’m enjoying the way many trends are headed. Thank you Hollywood for helping to foster old glamour. As for these, I could easily narrow it down to number one and let that be the end of it. Three of the others fall to one flaw, which I realize is a mammoth trend that I should be getting used to by now. It’s my problem.
Breeze Beretta – Guns and baby girls are not synonymous, in my humble opinion. And that first name begs teasing. (Levi Johnston and Sunny Oglesby)
Elliotte Anne – Yes, I have a pet peeve for boys names on girls. Adding an E on the end makes it all the more irksome. (Marla Sokoloff)
Kline Olivia – At least Kline’s parents didn’t sugar coat it. (Mike Eli)
Halcyon Juna – The sedative drug has ruined all other lovely associations of this word for me. I did read they’re calling her Hallie. (Beth Littleford)
Maxwell Drew – As if Maxwell Lue wasn’t bad enough earlier in the year, Jessica Simpson played copycat.
BEST BOY NAMES:
The boys’ list was looking rather shapeless, until Claire Danes and Neve Campbell announced. Never did I think I would be giving ‘Snooki’ a “Best of” award for anything other than drama queen. And so it goes, people surprise you.
Lorenzo Dominic – Who would have thought Snooki would ever be the recipient of any “best of” award in earnest? But color me impressed, I love this underused choice.
Cyrus Michael Christopher – Another lovely surprise! We hope this helps wrestle Cyrus away from Billy Ray and Miley. It’s a great name. (Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy)
Caspian – Neve Campbell, who commented that she enjoyed having an unusual name growing up, and wanted to do give that gift to her son.
Finn Davey – Tori Spelling is another rather shockingly good namer. The adorable Davey was plucked from the family tree.
Jedidiah Lindsay – I love the cojones that went into this name. A four syllable Biblical wonder is daring on a boy, but it has the pleasant three letter “Jed” to go by should he want. I’m also all for reclaiming names like Lindsay for the boys. (Graham Elliot)
Honorable Mentions: Leo Grey (an adjective and noun that sound more namey than not), Emet Kuli (I’m intrigued), Micah Emmanuel (solid but unexpected Biblical choice here).
WORST BOY NAMES:
Astala Dylan Willow – What IS this? For a girl, this whole name would be interesting. But somehow on a boy, it’s just pushing the boundaries of ridiculousness, much like his mother’s Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof. But hey — it keeps her “relevant” right?
Rocky James – Oh, what a disappointment! I actually thought they might choose the lovely James, but Rocky? So not them. It surely has a hidden meaning. (Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr.)
Lion- Leo? Yes. But Lion? I don’t get it. (Alex O’Loughlin)
Tennessee James – After the playright is kind of cool maybe, but after the state? I dunno. Going with my gut on this one to say that this is another that was sorely disappointing. What would you name Ava and Deacon‘s baby brother?
Zayne – Poor Mindy McCready. Any baby name that emphasizes your “zaniness” should really be off limits, please. (Mindy McCready)
Honorable mention: Livingston. If “live life” was what they were getting at with Levi and Vida, they missed so many opportunities with this one. On Facebook I retroactively suggested Adan, Lazaro, and Omar which all connote life in less obvious ways, and pair well with their kids’ names without cheesily containing the actual word “living.”
WORST MIDDLE NAME:
Kick – Let me guess, he was super active in the womb? Come on! (By the way Jeremy Sisto consulted with pal Alicia Silverstone who named her offspring Bear Blu). He accidentally lucked out with a pretty fab first name of Sebastian.
In their own special categories, neither best nor worst, are perhaps the two names that got the most tongues wagging:
Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson. As if the child’s name isn’t already long enough, she has a hyphenated surname? And goes by the unintuitive LUNA, plucked from the fourth name in the whole combo? I sort of love the idea of this, but she really could have cut out a name, or three. If she wanted to call the poor child “Luna”, why not place Altalune up front? Why so complex? (Uma Thurman and Arpad Busson)
Blue Ivy – I’ve already covered this name above, but this was a third for me that was a bit of a disappointment. I expected bigger, bolder, more princessy. Beyoncé and Uma should consult with each other next time to achieve some kind of happy medium. (Beyoncé and Jay-Z)
That’s what I gots for 2012. What were your favorites? Any that send shivers down your spine?